There are critters in my roof I suspect of the rodent variety that need to be evicted. This influx usually occurs when renovation is undertaken somewhere in the neighborhood... which it has of late. So it's time to roll out the "rat balls"! My own recipe for rodent control.

Ingredients:
1 can of dog food
rat/mouse poison
paper towels

Method:
Mix dog food with rat poison. Put a tablespoon on a paper-towel and roll into a "paper ball". Repeat process until you run out of the lethal mixture. Place paper-balls in nooks where you suspect there is rodent activity... (presence of rodent poop is a good indicator.)

Firstly, rodents are attracted to paper. To them it's akin to winning a spree at an Ikea store. "Honey, I think this will look just darling in the nest... especially if it's shredded just so." Then they find that the pretty paper-ball has goodies inside. "Woo hoo! Pretty and yummy! Oh heaven... munch... munch." You can be sure that the news spreads among the rest of the rodent population... "Psst... paper-balls is manna!" "Ohhh... look I found one too... munch... munch..." Within 3 days the death march begins to the rodent's graveyard.

I pride myself with the effectiveness of my "rat-balls"! And yes... I used my vast training as a playwright to think like the rodents do in order to come up with the method for their "final solution".